Im gonna flip! and its gonna be soon, need ideas on how to get away more?

the problem with my hole situation is that i'd say im different from my 6 halve brothers and sisters. when i say different, i mean im like a genius to them. i take take the same classes as my older sister. she is a seiner and im a freshman. with this greater amount of knowledge its easy er to perceive things for me. that is what i hate the most. because i have an abusive mother. used to be physical. everyone could see it. now its only verbal. unlike my Brothers and sisters, i am able to see whats really going on. im gonna make this part short. i have (a couple of times) been beaten really badly. i had to go to the hospital. that pain docent even come close to things my mother does now. p.s i was cutting myself at the age of 7. things for her are usually on or off. she be saying horrible things. or she wont. depending on her mood. recently (like yesterday) she broke up with her soon to be husband. he broke up with her because she is crazy. she wont admit that and get help. what she does do is blame her children. what sickens me the most is what i just heard 5 min ago.my mother said that she was SO! upset! about he didn't care about how she was depressed! this gets me. like so much so im pondering suicide Again. because you see, this makes her a hypocrite. we can never, i repeat NEVER go to her with any of our problems. she always have the same answer of "stop feeling sorry for yourself" or "i didn't raise my kids to feel sorry for themselves" nor feel sorry for others. most of wouldn't know what kind Of impact this would have on you, but getting that drilled into you head every day. it effects every decision in you entire life. hearing what she just aid is mind numbing. but if really think about it i thank and hate her for what she did on this one. its super helpful when you don't need someone to depend on, and at the same time heartbreaking. what i need is ideas on how to hang out with friends longer. we kinda have this every other day thing going, but i need an idea how to hang out more. this would be super helpful!