I am a terrible person! I need insights and opinions PLEASE!!!!!!!!!?

I have never cheated before in my life! Almost Two years ago, I broke up with a guy that I had been seeing for ten years. The last 5 years, he emotionally and physically abused me! For the past 7 months, I have been seeing this wonderful man! He is what most girls dream of. Very caring, respectful, and shows how much he loves me every chance he gets!!! I have never felt so connected with someone before. At times, I think he deserves better than me!! I think of him 24/7 and am saddened when we are not in each others arms. I love him with all of my heart!!!! Last week, I went out with some friends and got blitzed....very blitzed! ( I know that this is not a valid excuse) I remember going to the bar, but I don't remember leaving. I don't remember getting in a dude's car, but I remember making out with him....telling him no when he wanted to take it to the next level, then getting out of his car. I don't remember driving home, and my next memory was me waking up in my bed the next morning. It took me a while to put the pieces of the night back together....and have been crying ever since remembering that I made out with this random guy. I have no idea what is wrong with me!!! I never onced strayed when I was with the guy that treated me like total crap, but cheated on Mr. Wonderful! I so want to take that night back, but I know that I cannot! This just proves my point that he does indeed deserve better than me :-( Is something like this ever forgivable??? I already vowed to not drink when I am not around him...or drink to the extent I did that night! And the weird thing is...I am not a big drinker to begin with, and the blackout moments scared me enough to not want to get drunk again, especially that since I have no recollection of driving!!!! Nasty comments are welcomed....I deserve them!!!